"Should" is just confusing. When I'm tired and I need exercise and my bank account is low and my apartment is a mess...what in the world "should" come first? The Beast loves confusion -- confusion is its favorite food.
On an internal level, it occurs to me that grace and confusion are actually opposites. Confusion says I I have to do everything, all at once. It only offers pressure, and no help whatsoever in sorting it all out.
Grace tells me I don't have to do anything at all. It gives me all the time I need to decide what to do, whenever I'm ready.
I live in the Kingdom of Heaven, so I float in a sea of grace. I don't have to do anything at all. I am loved. I am free. There are only opportunities, not obligations.
Grace is God's attitude toward us -- always. We can look into God's face without fear because it always reflects a deep understanding of us and a deep acceptance. We don't have to do anything to earn any of it.
The pressure is relieved, and the paralysis melts away, leaving only the "broad place" David speaks of in Samuel 22:19-20:
20“He also brought me forth into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
He delights in us. Breathe. Just breathe.
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