BALLOONS (this one is definitely in progress...but it happened today!)
Four balloons touched down
in the middle of the downtown street:
one pink, one yellow, two white.
One man walked by them, then went back,
face expressionless (no expression seeming right),
picked them up by their ribbons, and tossed them to the sidewalk
so the bus wouldn't hit them, of course.
Three young people stood nearby: two boys, one girl
and the girl, needing something to touch the boys with,
used the balloons to bop them on the head.
It didn't do the trick, so she tossed the balloons up
and watched them like the child she was and is.
Up they flew, to the tops of the buildings,
and for a moment my heart soared with them.
Something beautiful shimmered inside me,
the beginning of a wondering about where beauty comes from.
I turned away to watch the police prep a man for detox.
When I looked back up, my balloons were gone.
IRRITATED/INSECURE
You tell the story again and again, and wait for me to laugh,
forcing me into a moment
when I really thought it was funny
when we thought we were really clever
and perfectly happy.
Do you make the joke again
because you liked me so much then?
Or because you like me so much less now?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Living and Learning...and Living
I had a really hard time getting out of bed this morning. I hate that paralyzed feeling. It was probably a combination of the chaotic mess around me and indecision about how to spend the day. I blew off an 8:30 podiatrist appointment (what was I thinking when I made that appointment??!!)...then I blew off staff meeting...then I felt guilty...then I said, out loud: "Sabbath was made for me, not the other way around. Get out of bed!"
Got dressed, decided I really didn't want to stay home on such a beautiful day, called a cab and got my butt downtown. It was a good day. Decided to see how it would work to let go of the diet restrictions on Sabbath. Not too bad! Way too many chocolate-covered almonds at the movie ("He's Just Not That Into You"), and a big, greasy roast beef sandwich for lunch (YUMMMM), but nothing in between. Not a weight loss day -- a maintenance day -- and obviously I don't want a lot of those! We'll see...maybe I'll make this a weekly thing, but only IF I can keep the weight loss going during the rest of the week.
It does feel good to let go of the routines for a day. On the other hand, I'm looking forward to getting back to the routines tomorrow, which is maybe a really good outcome of Sabbath rest! It's kinda like being on vacation, and really enjoying it, but looking forward to getting home.
Moments of note today:
-- Writing poetry on post-it notes, sitting on a bench on the mall (will post the poems later)
-- Spending a Tattered Cover gift card to get two knitting magazines and one beading magazine. Lots of new projects, and maybe some I can build into the fundraising visions that are rising up...? Also great to see Aaron Pott at the TC -- I knew I'd run into him there! :)
-- The guy who sat down next to me on the mall this evening, said "How you doing sweetheart" (uh-0hhh...I see it coming...) then "Are you losing weight? 'Cause there's fat farms, and..." !!!!! Maybe I was channeling the strong women in the movie I've just seen. I looked at him and said, firmly and loudly: "You are the rudest person I have ever met. Stop talking to me or I will call the police. I'm going back to reading my magazine. Get away from me!" I kept on reading, and he sat there for a minute silently. He finally got up and said, "Okay, bye. God loves you." I would have said something reconciliatory, but he started again: "But you know, there are--" "NO. YOU'RE DONE," I said, with a hand motion that cut him off completely, so he walked away. It felt good.
So tonight I'm watching "The Biggest Loser" and the SECOND "After the Final Rose" show of The Bachelor (I know...I know...), and eating some Chinese food.
Tomorrow I get up and start the routines again. It's a Wednesday, which is a good day to reboot. Lots of time slots that can be squished around as needed. I also need to get in a LOT of work -- this week in general, and especially tomorrow because the rest of the week has filled up with other stuff.
Blessings and blessings and blessings.... :)
Got dressed, decided I really didn't want to stay home on such a beautiful day, called a cab and got my butt downtown. It was a good day. Decided to see how it would work to let go of the diet restrictions on Sabbath. Not too bad! Way too many chocolate-covered almonds at the movie ("He's Just Not That Into You"), and a big, greasy roast beef sandwich for lunch (YUMMMM), but nothing in between. Not a weight loss day -- a maintenance day -- and obviously I don't want a lot of those! We'll see...maybe I'll make this a weekly thing, but only IF I can keep the weight loss going during the rest of the week.
It does feel good to let go of the routines for a day. On the other hand, I'm looking forward to getting back to the routines tomorrow, which is maybe a really good outcome of Sabbath rest! It's kinda like being on vacation, and really enjoying it, but looking forward to getting home.
Moments of note today:
-- Writing poetry on post-it notes, sitting on a bench on the mall (will post the poems later)
-- Spending a Tattered Cover gift card to get two knitting magazines and one beading magazine. Lots of new projects, and maybe some I can build into the fundraising visions that are rising up...? Also great to see Aaron Pott at the TC -- I knew I'd run into him there! :)
-- The guy who sat down next to me on the mall this evening, said "How you doing sweetheart" (uh-0hhh...I see it coming...) then "Are you losing weight? 'Cause there's fat farms, and..." !!!!! Maybe I was channeling the strong women in the movie I've just seen. I looked at him and said, firmly and loudly: "You are the rudest person I have ever met. Stop talking to me or I will call the police. I'm going back to reading my magazine. Get away from me!" I kept on reading, and he sat there for a minute silently. He finally got up and said, "Okay, bye. God loves you." I would have said something reconciliatory, but he started again: "But you know, there are--" "NO. YOU'RE DONE," I said, with a hand motion that cut him off completely, so he walked away. It felt good.
So tonight I'm watching "The Biggest Loser" and the SECOND "After the Final Rose" show of The Bachelor (I know...I know...), and eating some Chinese food.
Tomorrow I get up and start the routines again. It's a Wednesday, which is a good day to reboot. Lots of time slots that can be squished around as needed. I also need to get in a LOT of work -- this week in general, and especially tomorrow because the rest of the week has filled up with other stuff.
Blessings and blessings and blessings.... :)
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