A few days in -- not that big a deal

Feelin' good. Maybe I should describe the diet I'm on -- it's called the Rice Diet, but it's really not about rice. It was developed in the '40s, and the first version of it really was just rice and fruit, but it has been expanded into a simple, low-sodium, low-fat eating plan.

Because it consists mainly of whole foods (grains, fruit, veggies, a little dairy and protein), the calorie level is low -- about 800-1200 calories a day, and I'm definitely hungry sometimes, but that works for me -- I like to be able to *feel* the weight coming off!

I've discovered another personal benefit to the low calorie content: it allows some flexibility. Now, some of this flexibility isn't actually written into the plan, but this is my eating plan, my body -- it's about getting healthy, not about following a regimen. The first day I was on this plan, I had an extra meal. It brought my calories up to 1100 or so, rather than 800, but it takes about 4000 calories a day to maintain my current weight, so guess what? I still had a deficit of 2900, and that's most of a pound of fat! (A pound of fat is about 3600.)

I'm also using the low calorie level of the plan another way -- it allows me to work in some treats. For example, Saturday I went to a cabin party where I knew the host had been slow-cooking some meat all day, and I decided I'd like to have some. So I stuck to the strictest form of the plan all day (two starches, two fruits at each meal), went to the party, had the meat I wanted and even a few really great cookies someone had brought up...and stopped. I did *not* do the thing where you say "Well, I've blown the diet now -- might as well pig out," then eat potato chips all night. I didn't even have s'mores later on. It just didn't sound good, and definitely not worth the calories.

Ohmigosh, could it be that....I don't *like* s'mores? When they were passing around the chocolate and marshmallows, it just sounded too sweet. "Too sweet" -- is that something I ever thought I'd say? Amazing.

I did feel heavy for awhile after I ate the meat, but by the time I left the party I was feeling light and good again, because I didn't spend the rest of the night eating! When I looked around, I realized I had eaten just like all the skinny people in the room -- had a heavyish meal, then stopped. Later on, after a lovely evening of visiting with my good old friends *without* a plate my hands and food constantly in my mouth, I noticed that all the munchies had been put away to make room for candles on the table -- I guess that's what skinny people do when they're done eating for awhile! Who knew!?!

The great news is this -- I know that even with the extra calories I'm still low in calories for the day (and certainly for the week!), so it's just not a big deal. I don't have to feel guilty, don't have to feel anything at all. I can just pick up my two starches and two fruits at the next meal, and keep on losing weight! Whoo hoo!

That seems to be a life theme for me, right now -- "It's just not that big a deal." Cleaning up my apartment? Not that big a deal -- I'll just do whatever I have time for each day, instead of stressing out about reserving a weekend for an overhaul of the place. And it's not a measure of my self-worth -- it's just a messy apartment. Not that big a deal.

I even made some changes in a significant relationship recently -- just made a few changes in my way of relating to them. After a difficult moment or two, we're happy, healthy and lovin' each other. Not a big deal. We're fine.

Could this be the "peace that passes understanding" that I've heard so much about? I wonder if one of the devil's best tools is making us think that things are a big deal when really they're not. How much time and energy do we waste in anxiety over molehills that looked like mountains? The world may never know... :)